From the Brain of Matty

grrr (16.06.04 1:57 pm)

Gods damn it, this is all so fricking annoying. Wednesday used to be a good day, but lately she seems to have it in her head that I don't have any work to do on this particular day each week. Unfortunately, I do. And that couple of hours between dropping her off at 1 and picking her up by 4 isn't really enough to get any of it done. And then, the minute I walk in the door, I'm confronted by problems and issues and I can't even log into the computer before someone's getting me to go check out some other problem. Which is particularly frustrating when it takes them 5 minutes to say what it is that's going on (one sentence - one word - can take up to 90 seconds sometimes), and then have them realise it wasn't a problem in the first place - they just didn't understand what was going on. And then when I do finally get logged in and start to trawl through my daily spam, I get called in next door to show someone how to draw two arrows on the whiteboard. The exact same arrows I've been drawing for the past week. How can someone so enthusiastic be so .. so .. immune to actually absorbing knowledge? Perfect executive management material, granted, but annoying when it's also a classmate. Anyway, then I get the arrows drawn, get through my spam, read the interesting diaries, and prepare to vent excess toxic build-ups, and I get this bloody message:

If you are reading this, the new database servers are extra-loaded and you'll have to wait a minute and try again. Sorry about that, but the traffic to the site has increased dramatically in the past week, and there are short periods now where the database server is pretty loaded-down, but don't worry, I am working on preventing this, and the amount of time where they're overloaded is nothing compared to the old servers, in the first week of having the new servers there was only 10 minutes like this, it's very rare now. So just hold up a minute, reload this page and it will more than likely let you add an entry.

Pig's arse it'll be back up in a minute! For the past month I've been getting this damned message. And it's 1:30pm Australian Eastern Standard Time, who the hell in the rest of the world is up at THIS hour, updating their diary? Tell them to get a frigging life, and let me vent my toxic build-ups in peace! Jeez.

Grr!

Anyway.. what was I actually planning on writing? Oh, I remember. Wedding stuff. It appears at this point in time that out of my whole family, there will be 10 or 11 of us at my wedding. Including me. And all the ones who aren't actually family yet, like my sister's boyfriend. 10 or 11! My fuc/<ing father probably isn't even going to be there. Not that I'm surprised, or really upset - especially seeing as I wasn't invited to his last two weddings (actually, I didn't even know about the last one until a few months after, and I still haven't met my new step mother). But yeah, 10 or 11 of us. And Shell's family is being all enthusiastic and wondering if her cousins can be a part of it and all that, which is all fine and groovy - I'm glad they're showing such an interest - but if all her little cousins end up being involved, and there are 10 of my family in the whole thing, it's not really going to feel like very much of my wedding. And, as Shell put in her diary, her mother keeps pushing things.

The cousins want to be involved, let's make them be flower girls. Even though we were totally opposed to flower girls in the first place, and never intended having any. And if you say no, I'll play the guilt card based on the tenuous relationships between yourself, your cousin, and your uncle.

The hired cars charge extra if it's more than four hours, and since the wedding's pushed up to 2pm, that means we'll have to get dropped off somewhere and hang out for a bit before the reception. Which actually sounds pretty good to Shell & I. But no, the mother keeps pushing and pushing that she just pay the extra so we can keep the cars. Even though we don't want them.

But the worst thing of it all is she makes sure to push these issues when only Shell is around, because Shell can't physically bring herself to say no to her mother when she's really pushing.

I'm getting so very close to putting my foot down. And if she so much as mentions the money she's putting into the wedding, I'll have to remind her that

she offered it all - and in fact pushed for us to spend more several times when we were happy with less
I never asked for a cent of it, and what's paid is paid and can't be taken back
this is her only child, so if she does anything to boycott or damage the wedding, she'll be stuck with it forever and have no chance to make up, and
this is my wedding. This is my only wedding. The only one I will ever have. Up to this point I've been very easy going, and letting Shell take care of most of the details, because I trust her judgement and agree with most of her ideas. But if someone else starts trying to rearrange things, I'm just going to have to step in. This is my wedding, so just fricking piss off.

Grr!

I'm not sure if I'm actually venting, or building myself up. Either way I'm really quite pissed off. But then, I'm not having a very good day. I really don't care if this message doesn't make much sense to anyone, because I haven't written it for anyone, but if something in it upsets people, it's not meant to, so don't blame me. I'm ranting.

m�tT��/<

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