From the Brain of Matty

ego boost (10.10.04 2:25 pm)

Man, I know it's crap, but it's quite an ego boost getting this kind of email:

Dear Matthew,

    Imagine your poem featured on an entire page to itself . . .

    Over the past several months, we have been reviewing the thousands of poems submitted to us, as well as examining the poetic accomplishments of people whose poetry has appeared on the Internet and in various editions released by other poetry publishers in America and Europe. After an exhaustive examination of this poetic artistry, The International Library of Poetry wishes to feature an entire page devoted exclusively to the poetry of Matthew Kerwin in a collection of new poems written by the Best Poets we have encountered.

The Best Poems and Poets of 2004

    Congratulations on your accomplishment, Matthew. Your poetry will be featured along with a distinguished group of just 200 of the Best Poets that were selected to participate in this special project.

    And that's not all. To honor the accomplishments of this elite group of talented individuals, we have established a separate contest with over $3,500.00 in prizes to be awarded among you. You will automatically be entered into the final competition, but you must submit a new unpublished poem on the enclosed entry form. Prizes will be announced by December 31, with an anticipated publication date of January 2005.

    The Best Poems and Poets of 2004 will be among the finest quality books we have ever produced. Every aspect of publication and design will convey the quality craftsmanship and attention to detail that will go into the production of this special edition. This coffee-table quality book will be printed in two colors on fine-milled paper and will feature a highly detailed, full-colored cover, and quality typography throughout. And best of all . . .

    . . . this special edition will feature an entire page devoted exclusively to a new, unpublished poem by

Matthew Kerwin!

    Before going any further, Matthew, let me make one thing clear . . . you were selected for publication on the basis of your unique talent. The new poem which you will submit for this edition has been accepted for publication because your previously published poetry sparks the imagination and presents the reader with a fresh, unique perspective on life.

    We believe you to be one of the most interesting poets we have encountered, so we wish to feature your artistry in this special edition and make this special prize money available to you and the others who have been chosen for publication. You should be aware that you are under no obligation whatsoever to submit any entry fee or subsidy payment, or to make any purchase of any kind. Of course, many people do wish to own a copy of the publication in which their artistry appears. If you would like to order a copy, please see the enclosed material for special discount information.

etc. etc.
Anyway, as I said, it's a real ego boost. It's just a pity it's crap. Even if it were real, and someone had actually read my stupid poems and thought they were good, I haven't written much at all for the past few years. Oh well.

Last night I had some thoughts, which I jotted down in my notebook. Unfortunately I don't have my notebook here at the moment, so I can't remember them word for word. But I can paraphrase.

  • This made Shell laugh: "I have enough trouble believing in a god who can interact with the physical world, let alone one that can spawn children."
  • I want to have a baby.
    I want to have a boy, because my whole life that's been the way it goes: a boy and then a girl. That's what seems normal or right to me.
    I want to have a girl, because I know already what kind of father I'd be to a daughter.
    I'm really scared by the idea of having a boy, because I have no idea how to be a father to a son.
  • That's basically it.

    I'm teaching myself how to do interesting things in OpenGL, such as multitexturing, environment mapping, volumetric fog, and the like. If I get to play on a more fancy computer I might look into things like scissoring as well.

    Oh, and today I baked a scone. Sort of. It turned out like a sort of sconey slicey loaf thing. It tasted good. Next weekend I'll try something new.

    Be well
    Matty /<