From the Brain of Matty

the dark (02.07.08 10:54 pm)

I feel a bit depressed. I think it's mostly from being tired. A bit of it's also from the vodka. After three nights in a row of having four or five (or more) standard drinks—thanks to Mum—I actually feel slightly reminiscent for 2000, which is stupid as that was the worst year of my life. But I'm hooked on the dark feeling. That's why I like the music I do, and probably why I stay up late when I'm already over-tired, and why I have such a history of making stupid mistakes when I'm obviously not that stupid a person.

Why would anyone want to feel this? Is it some Freud-esque product of my upbringing; or is it some bizarre backwards genetic trait that society has made non-fatal, like it has fatness and weakness; or am I just broken?

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